The Enlightened Mirror Selfies

Enlightened Mirror Selfies followers base their beliefs on the notion that taking a picture of themselves in the mirror with the flash on is the one true path to the presence of their creator. They believe the bright burst of light is the creator’s star, sent down to bless them with an extremely flattering image; which will last for all eternity. EMS members send the images of themselves with the creator to other members in order to strengthen the group’s faith.

They also seek to gain compliments; which they believe are direct messages of praise to the star. They are required to praise its ability to make unattractive members beautiful, simply by basking in its light. The more compliments they receive, the closer they are to gaining all of the pieces in a McDonald’s monopoly game that are needed to win their very own Ford truck, from which they will ascend to the heavens, using no gas at all.